Who should I get together with?

It been so long that I stop blogging...

Let's the story begin again from the lonely night. I was been attached for so long and never got the time to think about this question.

"Who should I get together with? Who will be my soul mate? Was she really exist?"
This question pop up on my mind in this lonely season.

I puay paiseh to admit that I have minimum charm that at least kept me being attached for so many years (10 years) without stop in between. Been break up, new relationship, initimate, quarrel, break up again. Different kinda gal give me a different experiences, but stupid thing was better end for me (I dump the gal) when I don't utilised "previous" love experiences; Opposite (I get dump) when I put effort & time. Sounds very sarcastic right? Whether this consider retribution or human nature, Free is good but no value & Expensive is bad but good to keep. People's always go for a better prospect when already owned something. This was inharited in me too. When someone treat me good, oh ya.. I deserve it, since I Used to treat them good. I getting too much pampered & let go a 7 years relationship to let her realize that relationship was 2 party involved. I finally got the feeling to settle down, she left...

It's easy target for me to get new flings around the people I know, which I understand I am a bit cunning (haha). I know to utilised my ability to let feel good to me (at least can break the ice)... and continue with more initimate relationship. For those guy's that never have gal fren before, the thing you need just thick skin. Courage is to propose & if u want to settle down (which is not necessary). Take it easy and don't do it so seriously, this hooked up their attentions. "Do" whatever u can when with her, most of the gal will accept when you go with the flow. Hook up, initimate, quarrel & break up... the routine continue again...

Being quite bored on this, although have tried different girls (not lup sup gal). In the end, I just need a person that can understand each other & live a simple life (Of cos I will make it interesting too). I am beginning of 80's and now was the year for 90's new generation... should I go ahead with the little gal or ladies that around my age? Foreign lady will be more sweet then local (physically they have nice XX)... what guy's need for love? Other then sex? I actually felt that everything was equally important, this is what love for what. Agree with me (for man) guy's need sex to maintain, if the gal don't give it to u.. they will give other's anyway (this is reality). Ofcos, do prepare to take responsible for ur leisure.

My current situation... was taggling around few gals. I need to defend that I am not flirting but also not officially accepted from each party. For novel reader's, I know u r waiting for this part. Let me describe on the first gal... a cheerful and serious gal, strong ability in work which having good prospect in her career, smart thoughtful, been hurt by previous relationship (Mostly due do she was a bit too chubby last time). She is my classmate but not very close during school time. We called her "Sexy lips". Haha, which she do have ;). We chatted a lot on inner story, past relationship etc...which makes us closer. Just abit unpredictable from her that she expected me alot & demanding me to do something. But I failed her purposely... bastard character from me, cos she really a nice gal. So in my "testing" period... did not hv any initimate action towards her (suddenly I felt I am so Holy). But day to day, let me see how it goes. ...Need to leave now..

To Be Continue on Part 2....
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Can u Let ur gal go date other guy? (Part 2)

I've waiting her back....at the estimated time that she might leave & reach. That guy stay in Toa Payoh & just near. She leave around 30mins after me.... what should I do now? Pretend that I dunno anything & continue love her?

Yes... I should do that. After all.. I not little kids that crying for mummy. Cause I understand... there's no way a problem can be resolve by quarreling... scolding...It will be more sad.. if I do so. Cos.. I am really love her.

I've waiting beside the control station & started to watch the sms delivery reports... It's really a marvelous feature that I neglete so long that taught by her. After 30mins... she've receive my sms and tell me her location. She've reached Yio Chu Kang... I called her & tell her I am worried about her, missed her. She just reply an "Em... I am so tired'.

The suddenly turn over... morale down man. It's just different... toward different guy. One of my fren got say me stupid...."U help her save money... spend everything for her. She use the money she save & spend for other guy...idiot". Man... I am so fate up.

After 30mins she reached.... saw me..& go back to sianz face.
" I am tired ... " She said..."Let's just back home.. ok?"..
"I know u r tired....feeling better?" I said..
"Ok bah...".... she replied... then I din continue with anything...I dunno what should I say... afraid I just push out everything.
"I knew u will not be alone de... I am glad that u feeling better...(Massage her neck)"......Man... I am such a nerd.

She was hugging my arm & sleep... act that she was tired. That I knew... she just wanna cover up the time in the bus...When the bus reach her station. She said.."Today... u direct go back ok?"...I replied " Can u spend 5 more minutes with me? I will just follow u back safety... then I will walk back"..

We walk back...slowly... it's such a silent night, still feeling cold while I remember the scene she & her laughting. She can spend 4 hours talking to him but just few repeating words for me...like " I am tired"...

"How u feel? Is it really boring with me already? I hope.. I can accompany...whenever you sad... I will be better..u know?"
She replied " Hope so bah... maybe chatting too long really boring ler... tired to talk to u. I am alone all the while... "
I really sad that ... what she said &.lied ....so confidently.

Before I leave.. asked again..."I knew u r not alone... right?"
She give me a hug & leave...open the door & said.. "As u like bah...88"...

It's so cold... when walking alone back to my place. Although just around 15minutes walk everyday...It's freezing...& my heart was needled...& slicing of piece by piece...

Tears leak from my eyes...just can't stop it.

Can u bare to let ur gal go and find other guy?

So long since I stopped blogging...

I straight to the points to my little man story...

She... give me a reason that "She said she wanna cold down & wanna be alone tonight" "Trust me, I will be OK".

I said" I will give the time & space u need, but... at least I know now u r sad... and I wish to stay by ur side"... "At least let me know where u going ok?"

She... "I dunno..."

"Beep... "

10minutes later... she away & sms me that. "I've leave, thanks" & off her phone... delivery report was pending to receive.

....... What should I say...my beloved gal leave without me to somewhere I dunno.

I've the idea of, she... might be seeing him. A guy that I knew she been date few times behind me. Haha... how cruel to know the truth.

After some trace by sense, I knew... she eventually will go to the place. Vivo city... the place I bring her go when she sad... most of the time. Just this time... I was not the one that beside her.

I been struggling all the while in my mind..."trust her... trust her like u used to be"..
Yes I know.. I will.... so inertia drag me to other place like china town that I hope she will be there.

Sadly... after check around with the shop & restaurant she used to go. She is not there....

I jump to the worst conclusion..... same time praying hard for her. Please... please... dun go to the place that I bring u go, especially with other guy. My heart is faster & faster....
No no... please dun go to the dating sky garden.. not without me.

I speed up my footstep & progress to my old "dating corner", which me & her likes to sit. Pheww...a rush. She was not there. My mind cold down a little bit & go to the gents beside Marche..

Walking towards the gym.... watching the sea side... think I worried too much bah. Haahaa stupid guy, rushing for a nonsense. Thanks god ( Although I pray for very long time). I felt relief & walk around... watching the couple kissing here & there. Wtf... the feeling isnt the same while walking alone or with her in this place. It just irritate me...

Suddenly... I felt some cold wind blow in that moment.... shock... hesitate... nervous... crazy..... sad..... & painful.
She is in front me... 5 metres ahead & with him.....beside him.

Brain freeze... my mind is shock till numb.... suddenly I can't feel anything, only can hear my heart beat. Seems all my blood vestal is going to explode. I can't believe my gal.... lied to me, just to be with him.

I Am so sad.... so sad... so sad. How could this be happening? Am I really tight her down...? Am I wrong to take care her from morning till night? She cant cry in front me but in front other guy?

I am confuse... I used to be the one in front her... holding her when she crying. Baby... u know how much I love u? Why u will do this to me... I am so depress... maybe I should go in front them, give the guy a punch & say.. "Hey, she is my gf". Maybe.. to have a peaceful way... assume nth is happen and walk in front them? ? " Hahaha... hey.. so ngam, u both also come here... hahahah act silly and walk away" Or... I should just jump into the sea.... easier.....

I calm down & think a while... looks like... they din notice me yet. Maybe... really they are just fren. The guy din touch my gal, although seem his hand is pointing here & there & nearly touch my gal... but luckily...no. He din touch her... She also only holding her own hand... chatting ..&..
laugh ting. My mind was thinking, was she really..Sad?

My mind flew in the words she said b4... 'If u say knew the truth of something... might be the end of it"... Am I... afford to.. lost her? Am I prepared for that...? And... what if I wrong, they were just fren?

Man... I am confuse...& sad.... sit at the corner bench that can observe them...& thinking wat should I do next.

"CAN I BARE MY GAL .... WITH OTHER GUY .. BEHIND ME?" & IT's NOT THE 1st time that I knew.

I should call that guy... & ask my gal to answer... which she done it b4 with her ex. & Yes...they divorce. I will not follow her steps...cos... I know. I should try to bare.... till I see... whether he or she... taking any action.

From the back .... I see my gal.. talk a while.. laughter... silent... talk a while laughter.. silent. Am I really putting to much pressure on her? Or she just feel wanna flirt? Cos she nvr tell anyone that I am his bf... although most of the ppl in office. Knew I am always around her... just she nvr admit. I am just a normal friend...

Keeping alot of our photo's... she is so sweet where she is with me.. how come after come back from a week of travel. She can just accept the other guy..?

Cursing around.....fx@$. In my mind, were diverting to 2 distinct. 1 is ...how am I going to make her love me more... I will do whatever to attract her & make her happy. But the other side, was thinking how to revenge.... after I treat her so good.... the only return is unloyal...f#$%. She will get a retribution... I swear.

Man... I going to crazy on this.. & watched behind them... for 2 hours.. Some time walk a while.... like passenger, some time sit behind them... so near but can't listen what they talking about. It's really a scenario that thorning my heart....using a saw to saw my heart.

Just... I din see them... take any other action.... Watching to sky & the sea, I should calm down. F#$% Sentosa.... why suddenly got fireworks? Curse & swear again to the fireworks...why come this romantic scene....why why why.

Go back behind them.. they still sitting there... watching the fireworks...

I told myself.. I should give the gal a chance. At least.... I still din see anything..I pass by at least 50 over times in 2 hours... they still consider... innocent. I should.. just leave... although I going to break down.. I should just leave.

So hope I can just put my eyes there..... & I go back & wait her. Cos I knew... she will reply me... when he bring her back.

I leave & run to the MRT... I dun wish to lost her.....

Sad story in the X'mas eve :(.

X'mas day.. "Happy day.... the day of joy!!!" All these word never come out in my X'mas day. Why?? (Gonna ask Santa). Let me begin my "True" story.

In the midnight... I smsed "her","Hi...its Christmas tomolo.. are free to catch a movie tonight? ... The XXXXX is nice movie. Hope can watch with u."

She didn't reply (2am... should be slept).

Coming morning, she replied:" Sry o, my nephew full month... got guest coming."

Then I send" How about a late night or midnight show? Since we're not working the next day. Later can just walk back" (Cinema near our house).

She replied:" Okies~ what movie we watching?".

I replied:" The XXXX and XXX was nice :)".

She replied:" Ok... I asked around my fren too."

I STUNED...... Why suddenly come out a fren :( ....

I replied:" U wanna bring ur friend ah? Haha... ok. Let me know h0w many, I will book the tickets".

She replied:" Okies ;)!".

Even it start to become far from my 1st planning, but doesn't matter. My purpose was date "her" anyway. So in the launch time, I quickly ran out and buy a present for her XD.

When I happilly reached Office. She sends me a message:" Hee.... snowball effect, now got 5 ppl wanna go. U dun "mind" hor?"

My vane nearly burst. “Sure no problem... u sure only 5 hor? I wanna book d...”

She replied:" Heee...I check again."

I replied:" O.....K......I....E....D. But my office release early today I will go back home 1st."

When I reached home..... I message her to confirm:" I buy the tickets now ok?"

She replied:”.... my friend all not going ler".

I happied and reply:" Too bad, now we can watch "together" d." X))).

Then she replied:" ...my other fren invite us( not including me) to have a bbq at "his" house."

Me :" .......... ............ .................... ..............".




The moral or the stories are:" Never ask a gal for a movie with any option allowance!"
2nd moral:" When a gal said: U dun "mind" hor?" means:" U CANNOT MIND TO REJECT IT, SINCE I SAID SO POLITELY".


Aiks.... think this year Xmas eve. I will sleep again at home :(.....Story End.

Have u meet a "Dinosaur" today>?

Guys... as long they r normal, not gay and not attached (tightly).

90% of them (Including me) -> Watch and interested on making new friends (gal).

10% was those -> Watch but only make friend with their own (own pet own happy).

But for those amateurs... so call noob lovers and those without any love experience... so call kukubird... it was hard for them to woo gal (directly).

Got 1.look, 2.talent & 3.wealthy one, mostly shoot the host... face to face no problem. Target can be anyone.

But 90% above of the newbie’s don't fulfill or lack of certain requirements. So what to do?
Making friend online was the easiest way. Few click of mouse... a list of friend finding cooperation or public free friend side, Facebook, Friendster...... etc.
Mostly was a nice place to start.

Yet... that was not easy to identify... Is the girl really pretty? Izzit really her? How many % of confident level "she" was the exactly same as the one u watch online?

Sad today say...but, a lot of their photo... were modified (to attract guys).
Got some... gal (We so call "Dinosaur"). Why? Cause they were good at toking.... chatting skills best and of cause they have some nice photo's (Modified).
Say about good one 1st...

They got some common characteristic that:-
1. They good at flatter guy.
2. Their mostly have they mental thinking of a princes... that believe in fairy tales.
3. They got nice voice. Their tune of voice mostly very "pretty" and seductive.
4. They were someone that knows what u do everyday.
5. Their phone bill was "free", why? Cos when they start to use and chat... they won’t care.
6. They are good drinker and always give u the portion of wine what u can drink (so u can continuous to drink with them).

Then about bad one...
Only one was... they mostly were either Fat or not pretty. We called them "Dinosaurs"

It's not wrong that they can make friend with everyone. But.. ... it just break people heart while guy's knew their "girl" friend online... actually just some modified "photos".
Aiks... I knew 1... even make their picture facial etc to some models. ( Computer technology).

They were good in nature, but if they have any chance... They will "eat" u in one mouth just like a dinosaur.

P/S: Pong me please....:)

Fate or man made? A cross on the diary.

Just write a short 1 today, so hope can make it short and sweet.

As a day before holiday. I get an invitation for an movie. (As I wrote in 1st post those gals). People just like to go out before any festival.

I was happy that can go out with the people I admire for more then 5 years (Maybe I will wrote her story some other day). Maybe the invitation was given by the other 1. But the reason sufficient enough to cancel off all my plan tonight and go for a movie.

As we watched the movie, "Alvin the Chipmunks". A great movie and an opportunity given by my other friend (male). He sat in between the 2 gals, causes "She" sit right beside me. And ofcos, I was nervous. She was always so daring and I just wish to offer my jacket to her since was so cold in the cinema. .... (Skip the movie part, nth happen in between since I really not dare to do anythings in... ). I was just... nice to watch with her till the show end ( I really gratefull and pray to the god at that moment).

Nervous just keep make me can't perform a normal speaking. But of cos, poor self expression skills and wrong intersecting of the conversations just make a bad ending of this date.

She stayed near me and we got the same idea to getting the train till the end then sit back from the last station. What a nice chance again, but it just took my "thinking" time 40mins to the destination.

I was going to sent her home, when she reach. Her father called and going to fetch her. So I decided just wait with her... the moment I say out that wanna wait she till he father reach. Her old fren"gal" passed by (12:30am - Miracle) and accompany her. What thinking in mind just clear off. My chance to express my real feeling to her need to get cover again.

And she just pass by ( with her father again) and cancel off my sms that to express some of my feeling to her. It was just chilled people heart down.

Some time, fate this kinda things..... Just no way to express by word.

Can't sleep tonight. Any 1 have the same feeling before? Please come and share some thought.

Some reason that why man (in singapore) was loney..."Me" Version

This was my 1st post, so I will start with Teenager version (I am still young). Debating about teenage loners, and will use an example of my own personal experience.

Now days, portable device anywhere. By the advancing of the technologies, enhancing of the device features. People can have their own communication network anywhere, entertainment just a click of finger. From the sociological aspect, people cannot stop communicate to each other and life alone (at least for city life). Yet... all those ease of the technology, let people can create network by their own, communication to themselves.

Huh? Feeling something’s wrong? Who the earths that all the while talk to themselves? No need to question so much ... why? Cause now u already talking (thinking and communicate to make discussion by ourselves, ha-ha) Facts but not actually true. The point is people able to "talk" to themselves by the "feedback" from the portable devices - PDAs, MP3players, PSPs etc.

Teenagers get "entertained" by themselves so that need not talk to people to keep themselves company in the public area like in MRT, Shopping center, canteen, even toilet.... and all other places that u cant imagine. Became people's habit that "networking" by their own. Geez..... sounds very cold. Imagine advancing technologies and reducing the "human" and "human" communications.

Reason why??? Too many to list.. Maybe I provide an example from my own ... Why a guy will become loners.

1 day...launch time. I saw a friend (female) online in msn. It's since so long that I didn't saw her. So we chat a while. Of cos basically just some " Hi, how r u?" the reply "Still ok lor, still fine" etc. But we use to be some good old friend. So the conversation became more and more interesting. Then when proceed until the exciting part (not censored stuff). Launch time end, all need to back to station.

She asks:" Why always lonely ah? Can ask me and friend go out mar ;)."
I stun, so think for a while. Then I said:"Hey, how about we meet up tomolo and catch a movie, since we stay so near. 5 minutes way".
Then the gal said:" Ha-ha... sure. But I don't want to let ur gf beat up ;p".
Then I reply " Don't worried, fren fren watch movie don’t mind de ;p".
Then gal reply " Hee, Ok let's see".
Conversation suspended till I off work.... (But the fire & passion of me to watch movie already on).

Few hours pass then I felt abit anxious. So I sms her, " So how about movie?”
She replied:" Should be can lar... I ask another fren (Gal) to follow me go, she go I go ;p".
I sms directly to the gal she mention, and she agree to go for the movie happily.

Next day morning, the day that we going to watch movie. We 3 people on MSN together, they 2 start to discuss again... Suddenly her fren say she cannot go, due to the "XXX" reason. How about the XXX day (the day that she knew I going work). I felt like get rejected.

But she was a nice gal, so she replied:" Maybe I still will go.... see how"..... I felt recovered by a little bit.

Without failure, I book a pair tickets instead...

I happily wait for her for the movie... till the movie going to start. She Smsed :" Sry, think I really cant go d... next time bah".

Ooo oo.... a feeling of piercing and cutting the heart. "I get flied aeroplane".

Feel that is a stupid story right? But this appears again and again for other people. “I realized this, when I drinking with other fren (male).

Think got abit out of topic: p... (like more on personel).

Anyway, please feel free to leave some comment.

I will carry on more for the Real Life story.