Can u Let ur gal go date other guy? (Part 2)

I've waiting her back....at the estimated time that she might leave & reach. That guy stay in Toa Payoh & just near. She leave around 30mins after me.... what should I do now? Pretend that I dunno anything & continue love her?

Yes... I should do that. After all.. I not little kids that crying for mummy. Cause I understand... there's no way a problem can be resolve by quarreling... scolding...It will be more sad.. if I do so. Cos.. I am really love her.

I've waiting beside the control station & started to watch the sms delivery reports... It's really a marvelous feature that I neglete so long that taught by her. After 30mins... she've receive my sms and tell me her location. She've reached Yio Chu Kang... I called her & tell her I am worried about her, missed her. She just reply an "Em... I am so tired'.

The suddenly turn over... morale down man. It's just different... toward different guy. One of my fren got say me stupid...."U help her save money... spend everything for her. She use the money she save & spend for other guy...idiot". Man... I am so fate up.

After 30mins she reached.... saw me..& go back to sianz face.
" I am tired ... " She said..."Let's just back home.. ok?"..
"I know u r tired....feeling better?" I said..
"Ok bah...".... she replied... then I din continue with anything...I dunno what should I say... afraid I just push out everything.
"I knew u will not be alone de... I am glad that u feeling better...(Massage her neck)"......Man... I am such a nerd.

She was hugging my arm & sleep... act that she was tired. That I knew... she just wanna cover up the time in the bus...When the bus reach her station. She said.."Today... u direct go back ok?"...I replied " Can u spend 5 more minutes with me? I will just follow u back safety... then I will walk back"..

We walk back...slowly... it's such a silent night, still feeling cold while I remember the scene she & her laughting. She can spend 4 hours talking to him but just few repeating words for me...like " I am tired"...

"How u feel? Is it really boring with me already? I hope.. I can accompany...whenever you sad... I will be better..u know?"
She replied " Hope so bah... maybe chatting too long really boring ler... tired to talk to u. I am alone all the while... "
I really sad that ... what she said &.lied ....so confidently.

Before I leave.. asked again..."I knew u r not alone... right?"
She give me a hug & leave...open the door & said.. "As u like bah...88"...

It's so cold... when walking alone back to my place. Although just around 15minutes walk everyday...It's freezing...& my heart was needled...& slicing of piece by piece...

Tears leak from my eyes...just can't stop it.

Can u bare to let ur gal go and find other guy?

So long since I stopped blogging...

I straight to the points to my little man story...

She... give me a reason that "She said she wanna cold down & wanna be alone tonight" "Trust me, I will be OK".

I said" I will give the time & space u need, but... at least I know now u r sad... and I wish to stay by ur side"... "At least let me know where u going ok?"

She... "I dunno..."

"Beep... "

10minutes later... she away & sms me that. "I've leave, thanks" & off her phone... delivery report was pending to receive.

....... What should I say...my beloved gal leave without me to somewhere I dunno.

I've the idea of, she... might be seeing him. A guy that I knew she been date few times behind me. Haha... how cruel to know the truth.

After some trace by sense, I knew... she eventually will go to the place. Vivo city... the place I bring her go when she sad... most of the time. Just this time... I was not the one that beside her.

I been struggling all the while in my mind..."trust her... trust her like u used to be"..
Yes I know.. I will.... so inertia drag me to other place like china town that I hope she will be there.

Sadly... after check around with the shop & restaurant she used to go. She is not there....

I jump to the worst conclusion..... same time praying hard for her. Please... please... dun go to the place that I bring u go, especially with other guy. My heart is faster & faster....
No no... please dun go to the dating sky garden.. not without me.

I speed up my footstep & progress to my old "dating corner", which me & her likes to sit. Pheww...a rush. She was not there. My mind cold down a little bit & go to the gents beside Marche..

Walking towards the gym.... watching the sea side... think I worried too much bah. Haahaa stupid guy, rushing for a nonsense. Thanks god ( Although I pray for very long time). I felt relief & walk around... watching the couple kissing here & there. Wtf... the feeling isnt the same while walking alone or with her in this place. It just irritate me...

Suddenly... I felt some cold wind blow in that moment.... shock... hesitate... nervous... crazy..... sad..... & painful.
She is in front me... 5 metres ahead & with him.....beside him.

Brain freeze... my mind is shock till numb.... suddenly I can't feel anything, only can hear my heart beat. Seems all my blood vestal is going to explode. I can't believe my gal.... lied to me, just to be with him.

I Am so sad.... so sad... so sad. How could this be happening? Am I really tight her down...? Am I wrong to take care her from morning till night? She cant cry in front me but in front other guy?

I am confuse... I used to be the one in front her... holding her when she crying. Baby... u know how much I love u? Why u will do this to me... I am so depress... maybe I should go in front them, give the guy a punch & say.. "Hey, she is my gf". Maybe.. to have a peaceful way... assume nth is happen and walk in front them? ? " Hahaha... hey.. so ngam, u both also come here... hahahah act silly and walk away" Or... I should just jump into the sea.... easier.....

I calm down & think a while... looks like... they din notice me yet. Maybe... really they are just fren. The guy din touch my gal, although seem his hand is pointing here & there & nearly touch my gal... but luckily...no. He din touch her... She also only holding her own hand... chatting ..&..
laugh ting. My mind was thinking, was she really..Sad?

My mind flew in the words she said b4... 'If u say knew the truth of something... might be the end of it"... Am I... afford to.. lost her? Am I prepared for that...? And... what if I wrong, they were just fren?

Man... I am confuse...& sad.... sit at the corner bench that can observe them...& thinking wat should I do next.

"CAN I BARE MY GAL .... WITH OTHER GUY .. BEHIND ME?" & IT's NOT THE 1st time that I knew.

I should call that guy... & ask my gal to answer... which she done it b4 with her ex. & Yes...they divorce. I will not follow her steps...cos... I know. I should try to bare.... till I see... whether he or she... taking any action.

From the back .... I see my gal.. talk a while.. laughter... silent... talk a while laughter.. silent. Am I really putting to much pressure on her? Or she just feel wanna flirt? Cos she nvr tell anyone that I am his bf... although most of the ppl in office. Knew I am always around her... just she nvr admit. I am just a normal friend...

Keeping alot of our photo's... she is so sweet where she is with me.. how come after come back from a week of travel. She can just accept the other guy..?

Cursing around.....fx@$. In my mind, were diverting to 2 distinct. 1 is ...how am I going to make her love me more... I will do whatever to attract her & make her happy. But the other side, was thinking how to revenge.... after I treat her so good.... the only return is unloyal...f#$%. She will get a retribution... I swear.

Man... I going to crazy on this.. & watched behind them... for 2 hours.. Some time walk a while.... like passenger, some time sit behind them... so near but can't listen what they talking about. It's really a scenario that thorning my heart....using a saw to saw my heart.

Just... I din see them... take any other action.... Watching to sky & the sea, I should calm down. F#$% Sentosa.... why suddenly got fireworks? Curse & swear again to the fireworks...why come this romantic scene....why why why.

Go back behind them.. they still sitting there... watching the fireworks...

I told myself.. I should give the gal a chance. At least.... I still din see anything..I pass by at least 50 over times in 2 hours... they still consider... innocent. I should.. just leave... although I going to break down.. I should just leave.

So hope I can just put my eyes there..... & I go back & wait her. Cos I knew... she will reply me... when he bring her back.

I leave & run to the MRT... I dun wish to lost her.....