Can u bare to let ur gal go and find other guy?

So long since I stopped blogging...

I straight to the points to my little man story...

She... give me a reason that "She said she wanna cold down & wanna be alone tonight" "Trust me, I will be OK".

I said" I will give the time & space u need, but... at least I know now u r sad... and I wish to stay by ur side"... "At least let me know where u going ok?"

She... "I dunno..."

"Beep... "

10minutes later... she away & sms me that. "I've leave, thanks" & off her phone... delivery report was pending to receive.

....... What should I say...my beloved gal leave without me to somewhere I dunno.

I've the idea of, she... might be seeing him. A guy that I knew she been date few times behind me. Haha... how cruel to know the truth.

After some trace by sense, I knew... she eventually will go to the place. Vivo city... the place I bring her go when she sad... most of the time. Just this time... I was not the one that beside her.

I been struggling all the while in my mind..."trust her... trust her like u used to be"..
Yes I know.. I will.... so inertia drag me to other place like china town that I hope she will be there.

Sadly... after check around with the shop & restaurant she used to go. She is not there....

I jump to the worst conclusion..... same time praying hard for her. Please... please... dun go to the place that I bring u go, especially with other guy. My heart is faster & faster....
No no... please dun go to the dating sky garden.. not without me.

I speed up my footstep & progress to my old "dating corner", which me & her likes to sit. Pheww...a rush. She was not there. My mind cold down a little bit & go to the gents beside Marche..

Walking towards the gym.... watching the sea side... think I worried too much bah. Haahaa stupid guy, rushing for a nonsense. Thanks god ( Although I pray for very long time). I felt relief & walk around... watching the couple kissing here & there. Wtf... the feeling isnt the same while walking alone or with her in this place. It just irritate me...

Suddenly... I felt some cold wind blow in that moment.... shock... hesitate... nervous... crazy..... sad..... & painful.
She is in front me... 5 metres ahead & with him.....beside him.

Brain freeze... my mind is shock till numb.... suddenly I can't feel anything, only can hear my heart beat. Seems all my blood vestal is going to explode. I can't believe my gal.... lied to me, just to be with him.

I Am so sad.... so sad... so sad. How could this be happening? Am I really tight her down...? Am I wrong to take care her from morning till night? She cant cry in front me but in front other guy?

I am confuse... I used to be the one in front her... holding her when she crying. Baby... u know how much I love u? Why u will do this to me... I am so depress... maybe I should go in front them, give the guy a punch & say.. "Hey, she is my gf". Maybe.. to have a peaceful way... assume nth is happen and walk in front them? ? " Hahaha... hey.. so ngam, u both also come here... hahahah act silly and walk away" Or... I should just jump into the sea.... easier.....

I calm down & think a while... looks like... they din notice me yet. Maybe... really they are just fren. The guy din touch my gal, although seem his hand is pointing here & there & nearly touch my gal... but luckily...no. He din touch her... She also only holding her own hand... chatting ..&..
laugh ting. My mind was thinking, was she really..Sad?

My mind flew in the words she said b4... 'If u say knew the truth of something... might be the end of it"... Am I... afford to.. lost her? Am I prepared for that...? And... what if I wrong, they were just fren?

Man... I am confuse...& sad.... sit at the corner bench that can observe them...& thinking wat should I do next.

"CAN I BARE MY GAL .... WITH OTHER GUY .. BEHIND ME?" & IT's NOT THE 1st time that I knew.

I should call that guy... & ask my gal to answer... which she done it b4 with her ex. & Yes...they divorce. I will not follow her steps...cos... I know. I should try to bare.... till I see... whether he or she... taking any action.

From the back .... I see my gal.. talk a while.. laughter... silent... talk a while laughter.. silent. Am I really putting to much pressure on her? Or she just feel wanna flirt? Cos she nvr tell anyone that I am his bf... although most of the ppl in office. Knew I am always around her... just she nvr admit. I am just a normal friend...

Keeping alot of our photo's... she is so sweet where she is with me.. how come after come back from a week of travel. She can just accept the other guy..?

Cursing around.....fx@$. In my mind, were diverting to 2 distinct. 1 is ...how am I going to make her love me more... I will do whatever to attract her & make her happy. But the other side, was thinking how to revenge.... after I treat her so good.... the only return is unloyal...f#$%. She will get a retribution... I swear.

Man... I going to crazy on this.. & watched behind them... for 2 hours.. Some time walk a while.... like passenger, some time sit behind them... so near but can't listen what they talking about. It's really a scenario that thorning my heart....using a saw to saw my heart.

Just... I din see them... take any other action.... Watching to sky & the sea, I should calm down. F#$% Sentosa.... why suddenly got fireworks? Curse & swear again to the fireworks...why come this romantic scene....why why why.

Go back behind them.. they still sitting there... watching the fireworks...

I told myself.. I should give the gal a chance. At least.... I still din see anything..I pass by at least 50 over times in 2 hours... they still consider... innocent. I should.. just leave... although I going to break down.. I should just leave.

So hope I can just put my eyes there..... & I go back & wait her. Cos I knew... she will reply me... when he bring her back.

I leave & run to the MRT... I dun wish to lost her.....